Windows or a glass house?

A house without books is like a room without windows. ~Heinrich Mann

If Heinrich Mann is correct, than my house is all windows. There is no room for floors, doors, or closets, every surface would have to be a window. Why you may ask? The answer is quite simple, I am addicted to books, yes... I am a bibliophile. Shocking, but true. I contemplated a 12 step program and then decided why? I don't really have a problem. Since when has reading been a problem? ;-)

To be honest I am well aware that I have a problem. You see, I don't just buy lots of books and read them... I buy lots of books. If I'm in a foul mood, what do I do? Go buy a couple of books. If I'm way too early for an interview and there is a bookstore nearby I will stop in and pick a few up for a quick pick me up. Where others have starbucks or recreational drugs, I have books. I believe that it may be possible that I actually cost Barnes and Noble money with their membership program, but I'm not going to worry about that.

So how bad is my addiction? I believe it is possible that I have enough books to start a small library. Granted a library focused on only the classics, art crime, girlie beach reads and a couple of other genres mixed in. I also have an extensive collection of museum catalogues, one for each museum visited (minus two in Rome, because I already knew my luggage would be over) and lots on art and art history.

I am very excited to be reunited with the bulk of my collection in the coming months. I have finally procured a full time job and plan to move into a new apartment in late October/early November. The most exciting part of this all? I get to start to realize one of my biggest life goals, to have a personal library. I've always wanted a library. It started with Beauty and the Beast (and me saying, "Mom, I want a library with a ladder") and only intensified when I saw my desired library portrayed in reality (not cartoon form) in Meet Joe Black.

As part of this library craze, I am also quite specific about what kinds of books I buy. I (with limited exception) will buy only hardcover books, because seriously, what kind of library is filled with paperback books? I have become very fortunate over time as many books that I have acquired for art crime research are now out of print.

So back to my library. The new apartment I am looking at has a den, and I intend to line those walls with bookshelves and have my first attempt at a library. Feel free to stop by and check it out once it's set up.

Eat, Stumble, Fall?

I just returned from a girls night at the movies to see the new Julia Roberts flick, Eat, Pray, Love. Simply put, I loved it. I read the book quite a while ago and I sincerely enjoyed that, so I figured I would love the movie as well. It helps that I am a big Julia fan too. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm insanely jealous and will sometimes make fun of her out of my own insecurities, but at the end of the day I know that I would happily curl up and watch most of her films and walk away feeling happy.

Back to the movie. For those of you that have not seen it (or read the book) it's a pretty simple concept. It's based on a true story where the woman had a big event that changed her life, went to live in Italy (Eat), India (Pray) and Bali (Love) for three months each and on her way "found herself." Good for her. No really, I'm very happy for her. However, it made me wonder if my life was a movie how would it play out? Who would play me? Who would play my friends? Which talented cat actress would play my sweet kitten Cleo?? All important things right? ;-)

Mainly I wondered, what about my life would people find entertaining. This is actually something friends and I have discussed quite often. It usually starts out some night when we are all sitting around, drinking some wine and someone tells a story where they did something silly, stupid, fell down, etc. and it becomes a "I can top that" competition... I have never lost any of these competitions. I always have the story that is the silliest, dumbest, stumbliest (that's not a word, I know, but you understand), etc.

A movie based on my life would not have some soul searching moment where everyone watching starts to think, hmmm... I really should stop and smell the roses. Nope... my movie would play out more like a Drew Barrymore film. There would be lots of goofiness and lots of entertainment and you would leave feeling much better about yourself, because let's face it, I'm not Julia. You wouldn't leave thinking, man, that girl has everything just right, her life has fallen into place. Nope you would leave thinking, thank goodness for a realistic character that is identifiable, laughable, but not so laughable that it's one big joke.

You know what though? I wouldn't have it any other way. Such is the ride that is life. I can't model my life after a movie and I would much prefer to break or create the mold than to simply bend myself to fit into a pre-made situation.

Quite often I contemplate writing a book about the silly things in my life. I think the world could use a book where the writer didn't take themselves so seriously. Like my movie (which of course would come after my book) it wouldn't be some huge thing that makes you think you are inadequate or that your life is missing something because you haven't spent time in an Ashram in India learning to meditate and pet elephants. On the contrary, it would make you think, yep, my life is my life. Plain and simple. With all the imperfections and all the bumps in the road. My book wouldn't be this ultimate find the meaning of life thing, and it wouldn't end with the heroine running away with her prince. Nope... that's not my life... at least not yet. I mean, I have to leave something for the sequel. ;-)

Questions

A little while ago I drove to Jacksonville with Danielle, one of my best friends, to visit our mutual best friend, Nellie, her family and her newest son Deacon. At some point while there and when Danielle was holding baby Deacon (or baby Bacon as his brothers affectionately call him), Nellie said, "You look so natural holding him." Which brought out my sarcastic nature and I joked, "As opposed to what? An Alien?." Which sparked a conversation that led to a list of questions or statements that Danielle and I get annoyed hearing as single ladies and that Nellie gets annoyed hearing as a mom. Nellie suggested I blog it, so here it is.

Of course I cannot state that I represent all single ladies, but for me and a good amount of my friends the following are true. If you have ever asked me any of these, you now know that I will give you a nice answer, while thinking in my head of my real answer.

1. While holding a baby or playing with a child, please don't tell us that we look "natural." It makes me want to stand on my head and talk in a made up language to show what "unnatural" would look like. Yes, I know I am a woman and of child rearing age, you don't need to point this out with the whole "natural" statement. And please please please don't ask a girl you KNOW is single when she thinks she will have one... I do not have a crystal ball, so you will have as much luck asking me who will win the Superbowl.

2. After asking if we are dating someone and hearing that we are not, do not follow up with, "Are you looking?" What kind of a question is that? Nope, not looking, I think that I can have a quite fulfilling life alone with my cat.

3. This one is quite unique to me, as I have been unemployed for a bit, and it leads to a similar answer as above, but here we go. The dialogue usually goes like this:
"Them:" "How's the job market?"
Me: Bad.
"Them:" Find anything?
Me: Nope.
"Them:" Still looking?
Me: Yep (while thinking... Nope, I stopped looking because I think life is fantastic as an unemployed person... OF COURSE I'M STILL LOOKING!)

4. This one is probably more for my mother than anyone else but, when you introduce us (single girls) to someone and ask us if we would be interested in them and we say no PLEASE do NOT give them our numbers!!! No means no!

5. Now this may seem to contradict my first statement, but when a group of parents are hanging out with some single people talking "shop" and they tell a story and then look at the single people and say "you just could never understand until your a parent"... just stop doing that. I understand I do not have a child, but I am a pretty intelligent adult and I do a pretty good job of understanding the emotions of other people. If you were talking about a serious event like a kidnapping or something, then yeah, you can say that. However, that has NEVER been the case. I can get the joke, understand the book or movie without having a child of my own. Did you not understand "The Little Mermaid" because you didn't actually live Under the Sea?

6. My favorite questions come around wedding times, when random strangers, or life long friends will ask some or all of the following:

• Do you plan on getting married? (Yeah... just as much as I plan on being the head of an arts organization and living in Italy... all things I would like to do, but again NO CRYSTAL BALL!)
• Where would you like to get married? My sarcastic answer... In this lifetime. (My thoughts though: Ok, as a girl I have been planning my wedding since I was 5, but no, we (single ladies) will never admit this in public and tell you a real answer, so stop asking.)
• This one is for anyone... when someone turns to you during a ceremony and says (referring to the bride) "Doesn't she look lovely?" Ummm... SHE'S the bride... of course she does... and if I didn't think so I would never tell you, so shush.
  

Ok... that's enough for now. Mind you if any of you have said these things, I really don't mind, but I do giggle while forming responses in my head.

Here's one for new mom's out there...
1. When you see a new mom in the store, don't ask "how is the baby sleeping?" HOW DO YOU THINK? HE/SHE is a newborn!

Which leads to my issue with the "slept like a baby" saying. Babies don't actually sleep that well... I'm going to start saying, "Slept like a teenage boy." I think that's much more accurate.